Why We Chose Surrogacy Over Adoption: A Personal Journey

When we embarked on our journey to start a family, we were met with countless decisions, each one more challenging than the last. One of the most significant choices we faced was whether to pursue surrogacy or adoption. Both paths offer the incredible gift of parenthood, but for us, surrogacy became the most fitting route. Here’s why.

The Myth that Adoption is "Easy"

There’s a common misconception that adoption is a straightforward process—like you can browse through profiles, pick a child, and they’ll arrive at your doorstep the next day, almost like ordering a package from Amazon. This couldn’t be further from the truth, especially in Canada.

Adoption in Canada is a complex, lengthy, and costly journey. It’s not uncommon for the process to take several years, with no guarantees of success. The waiting list for adopting a newborn can be incredibly long, and even for older children, the process involves rigorous assessments, paperwork, and legal hurdles. The financial aspect is also significant, with costs potentially reaching up to $100,000 or more. This reality is a far cry from the simplified version of adoption that many people assume.

We have had several people brush our struggles off by saying, “oh, well, you can always just adopt!”  We find these comments although likely well intentioned, incredibly insensitive, dismissive and frankly frustrating. We get they are trying to be supportive, but there is much more to it than just calling up an agency and placing an order.

The Financial and Emotional Investment

The costs associated with adoption are often underestimated. In Canada, adoption can be just as expensive as surrogacy, if not more so, especially when considering international adoption. The expenses include agency fees, legal fees, travel costs, and sometimes even costs related to supporting the birth mother during pregnancy. Beyond the financial burden, the emotional toll can be immense. The uncertainty, the waiting, and the possibility of an adoption falling through can be heart-wrenching just as it is through surrogacy.

Our Desire for a Biological Connection

Another factor in our decision was our desire to have a biological connection with our child. After years of fertility treatments, we have 3 embryos remaining, and the hope of bringing one of those embryos to life was incredibly important to us. Surrogacy offered us the opportunity to continue our dream of having a biological child, something that was no longer an option through adoption.

The Incredible Gift of Adoption

It’s important to recognize that adoption is an incredible and selfless act. The people who choose to adopt are providing a loving home to children in need, and that’s nothing short of amazing. Adoption is a beautiful way to build a family, and those who go through the process are making a profound impact on a child’s life.

For us, the decision to choose surrogacy over adoption was deeply personal, rooted in our unique circumstances and our hopes for the future. We admire and respect those who choose adoption and the remarkable journey they undertake. However, for us, surrogacy was the path that aligned with our dreams and allowed us to continue our journey towards parenthood in a way that felt right for us.

If you’re considering your options, it’s essential to weigh the pros and cons of both paths and decide what’s best for you and your family. Every journey is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. What matters most is finding the path that brings you closer to your dream of becoming parents.

Support Our Journey

If you’d like to support us on our journey to parenthood, please visit our fundraiser here. Your generosity means the world to us as we navigate this incredible journey towards bringing our baby into the world.

We hope our story sheds light on the realities of both surrogacy and adoption and helps others in similar situations find the path that’s right for them. Thank you for being part of our journey.

SL.